Kim Kardashian can’t Sleep Tonight

Kim Kardashian can’t sleep tonight. Stop the presses.

A topless Kim Kardashian in pink satin panty lingerie tweeted that she couldn’t sleep.

I’m shocked. I’m shocked, i tell you. Kim Kardashian is baring her breasts once again with the Kardashian Lingerie Collection for Sears launch underway.

Show me the money. Making untold millions of Dollars, Kim Kardashian is one smart marketer.

Kim Jong ill? No he’s Dead

Kim Jong il? No, he’s dead.

North Korea’s Supreme Commander of the People’s Army, Kim Jong-il has died at the age of 69. North Korean State media announced the Great Comrade passed away from a heart attack.

Pyong-yang’s long standing enemy, South Korea immediately put its armed forces on high alert and the government in Seoul declared the situation an emergency.

Kim Jong-il’s youngest son, Kim Jong-un, has been named his successor over the most reclusive country on Planet Earth including it’s 1 million active duty troops and nuclear capability.

Born under a double rainbow, Dear Leader’s body is now lying in state in a mausoleum in the capital, before a funeral service on December 28th.

Until then, a period of mourning has been declared in the country and the subjects were instructed to weep uncontrollably for media cameras.